Don't Quit Yet! Think it Through!
If you know me personally, you know that it has never been a big deal for me to quit a job once I decide that it is no longer serving me. (real entitled, I know!) Before I choose to "jump ship," I make sure to give considerable thought to my desire to leave and plan what my next steps will be. Below I share my reflection process, how I advocate for myself, and how I plan once I decide to leave a position.
Step Back & Reflect
Reflection is vital before making any big moves. I often use it to examine myself and my actions to grow personally and professionally. I begin my reflection by identifying the root cause for me wanting to leave my position. My reasons for leaving have previously been related to work culture, being undervalued, wanting to relocate, or my job not aligned to my values and beliefs. I think about what has caused me to have these feelings, and I explore ways in which I have contributed to either being content or unhappy in my role. Adopting a solutions-oriented approach, I then begin to identify ways in which I could be satisfied if certain things changed. I call this my wish list. My wish list contains both the reasonable and the—girl you tried it. It is a list that makes me regain control of the situation and acknowledge whether or not I am justified in what I am seeking or if I am just upset and being petty.
Advocate for Yourself
Now that I have identified what needs to change and developed a list of solutions to address them, I feel confident in voicing my concerns to ask for what I need to be successful. Since entering the work field out of college, I have always struggled with the notion of having to ask for what I want instead of expecting others to notice my work and ambitions and giving it to me. Therefore, I have since adopted the belief that it is no one's responsibility to advocate for me, except myself, so I need to speak up when I have an issue. Now, this does not mean that I am running to my superiors whenever there is a problem. Instead, I am strategic about what to fight for and what to move past. As a general rule of thumb, if it is something that I think about repeatedly over a week, it is most likely something that I need to address and acknowledge. Beyond that, it breeds resentment, and that is not productive for anyone. When engaging in this conversation with my boss, I make sure to remove emotion, speak plainly, and speak to the reasonable solutions that I have identified. For example, if I feel that I am deserving of a promotion, I would 1) express specific contributions that I have made, 2) speak to having favorable performance reviews, and 3) emphasize how I enjoy working for the company and am looking for ways to have a more significant impact. It is vital that when you have requests of others, you are specific about what you have done and what they can do for you both to achieve your goals.
Reflect & Respond
At this point, you have reflected, processed, and taken the first step towards improving your work life. Best case scenario, you and your boss were able to find a middle ground, and both of you are content. Maybe you do not get the promotion, but your boss gives you concrete steps to take to attain the promotion within the next few months. Or perhaps your boss finds it in the budget to provide you with a small raise upon your advocating for yourself. But maybe none of this happened. What if you were met with, "my hands are tied," or a flat out "no," now what? Now you need to reflect on what is the next best move for you. If you are not satisfied with your outcomes, what are you prepared to do now? In my experience, I've held out until a specific date and then resigned, giving me time to "put my ducks in a row." Even in moments when it was challenging to work in such an environment, I went to work every single day and continued to do my job to the best of my ability. I knew that quitting on the spot was not a luxury that I could afford, and instead that I needed to come up with an escape plan. I mentally prepared myself to "accept a temporary inconvenience for a permanent improvement," and needed time to apply and interview for new opportunities so that my next position would be a better fit. Then, and only when, I had accepted an offer, would I extend my resignation letter—Mama ain't raise no fool! Ultimately the decision is yours. I encourage you to talk over your thoughts throughout this process with your circle of trusted confidants. Not the ones who always agree with you, but the ones who will keep it real! Since I began my career, I have learned: 1) ask for what you want, and 2) do what is best for you.
